7 Things I’ve Gained (and Lost) During 7 Years Living In Texas

In 2011, my husband, “Capt.” Rob, and I uprooted our lives in Kansas City, MO, to relocate to a tiny town in North Texas, in a community called, Sherwood Shores, on the banks of Lake Texoma. You can read my prior posts on this career and life upheaval, here, here, here, here and here.

A couple of years passed before I  began to get my bearings.

And, several more years after that, situated in our new digs has promulgated roots.

A ribbon of highway connects our lakeside respite to neighboring town Whitesboro, where gaping storefronts and homes line quaint streets. A Dollar General just up the highway a couple of miles intervenes, when eggs or half-and-half deplete.

Time and again, I’ve been reminded, that giving up to get is integral to this new lifestyle we have chosen. Again and again, we have determined that the gains outweigh the losses, and thus, we remain. Following are seven of those gains, and the accompanying things we’ve given up, for anyone who may be considering a radical lifestyle and work-life synergy change:

1. What We Gave Up. City Life. The convenience of fine dining selections, upscale theater and multiple shopping districts no longer applies to our lifestyle. The closest city (Sherman) is a 40-mile drive, one way. And, while it offers many of the amenities we need for grocery and clothes shopping, an additional 30+-minute drive is required to get to Dallas for the ‘big-city’ amenities that we once were accustomed to.

What We Gained. We no longer fight the traffic congestion and hurriedness of the city. Our winding and authentic side roads are developed artfully around cedar and oak trees, requiring cars to slow and sidle up to the shoulder of the road in order to let the opposing vehicle pass. Our home, and my accompanying office building open up to a distant lake view every single day of the year, and traffic consists of golf carts and F150s hauling fishing and power boats and an occasional commuter. Wildlife scurries about, unaffected by any invasion of overpasses and highrises.

2. What We Gave Up. Convenient access to doctors and dentists and veterinarians and hairstylists, etc. Similarly, it was distressing to start from scratch building a repository of relationships to take care of our most intimate and important needs. And then to realize, scheduling such services–especially when urgently needed–was complicated by the distance from which we were separated.

What We Gained. I’ve found the culture of service to be an interesting and mostly wonderful dichotomy. In some instances, the reputation for Texas hospitality exudes; in others, there’s a feel of detached confidence wrought by locals who exude the spirit of raw independence and hard work. I’ve found the rustic Texas decor delightfully overpowering and sensory appealing in my local opthalmologist’s office, and the syrupy sweet welcome at my local dermatologist, when I visited during a time of vulnerability, an affectionate sound.

3. What We Gave Up. A traditional home. While on the path to invest in a traditional home with undulating space and the finest of household amenities when living in Kansas City, my husband and I chose the route of scarcity, scaling way back in order to build up emotional equity and spiritual growth in North Texas.

What We Gained. We now have settled into a two-bedroom, brick ranch, accompanied by rambling buildings and terraces dotting our multi-lot lake property. One of the buildings, a 460-sq. ft. Morgan structure houses my office, where I am writing today, and every day. It is enough, and the smallness releases us of the upkeep demands that would otherwise suffocate us of our precious time and energy we prefer to devote to lake retreats and overall respite.

The lots upon which the Morgan building and surrounding decks and structures sit were raw and untended spaces when we acquired our property. Capt. Rob has since renovated and breathed life into the space, creating our go-to outdoor room for relaxing and entertaining.

Our Morgan Building, and the Surrounding Space, BEFORE Capt. Rob Took the Reins of Transforming our Outdoor Space:

Our Morgan Building, After:

4. What We Gave Up. Access to building contractors, handymen and other resources with whom to partner in building out our space. It seems that workers are scarce, and reliability even more so, when you move into the unincorporated borders of lake property.

What We Gained.  A newfound and for me profound, respect for my husband’s creative talents in building out our property, from blank slate to esplanade. I love our space. And would he have been so inclined to dive into such well-thought-out and prolonged projects if it were not so for the need to do so?

Courtyard Construction In Progress
One of Rob’s MANY From-Scratch Projects
(He also built the deck + the lattice work wall, and later, a bar, pictured in the “After” photos, above.)

5. What We Gave Up. We both gave up close proximity to cherished friends, and moved away from my parents and sisters in Missouri.

What We Gained. I now live closer to one of my sisters (in Oklahoma), accommodating intermittent and intimate road trips together to visit my parents and other two sisters’ families. We also have leveraged our lake respite for sisters’ weekend events, the third-annual of which we will hold in a few weeks.

I feel, despite the expanded distance, a newfound closeness with my family, and with a handful of friends with whom I remain closely connected back home. Moreover, some of the new people we’ve encountered in Texas have resulted in relationships that knitted a sturdy new fabric of friendship–with bounds of joy and laughter emanating.

New Friends Enjoying Our Favorite Past Time With Us

2 of My Sisters in the Bow of Pilar During Sisters’ Weekend 2017

We Now Live Closer to My Husband’s West Texas Family, Some of Whom Are Pictured Here!

6. What We Gave Up. Rob jumped ship of a business management career in the automotive industry that was wreaking havoc on his health. While the initial leap was for the best, the abandoning of his hard-earned, executive salary was, obviously, a loss.

What We Gained. Peace of mind and a slower-paced life unleashed upon us almost immediately. While the path to our new financial course was ambiguous at first, we found our way; the course unveiled itself, over time.  My husband’s ingenuity and ability to reimagine his life and career proved itself once again, as he steers the sales helm as General Sales Manager at North Texas Marine.

Capt. Rob Departing for the DFW Boat Show

7. What We Gave Up. Noise.
What We Gained. Birds chirping, seagulls keaowing, pelicans squawking, boats humming, small planes soaring, water lapping, a chunky water-loving Yorkshire Terrier, dubbed Jolly Roger bounding and 10-lb black cat named Nicky playing, and our 26-foot Delilah, a Four Winns boat housing weekend good times and sundowns.

This is Rob, Relaxed

Likewise, Me, in My Happy Place, on the Boat, on the Lake

A Couple of Pelicans We Spotted on a Spring Boat Excursion

How This Story Relates to Careerists’ Needs
for Career + Life Change

Many careerists with their sights set on change feel the pangs of angst at the real losses that attach to embarking on a transition. While the obstacles of pain are apparent, the tools you can employ to climb over or around the impediments are readily available for those who are looking.

It is when the desire for career and life change outweighs the toil that you employ the tenacity to win your heart’s desires. It is when the impetus to leap to a new path is stronger than staying the course that you make bold moves.

Investing in your career story is one way you may work with me to propel yourself into the next chapter of your evolving life.

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Before you go, enjoy this 14-second video of Capt. Rob launching our Four Winns, Delilah: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DicLgbJGg8M

 

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