By Robert P. Poindexter
I love blueberry muffins, but I don’t like blueberry ice cream. Not that it’s inherently evil or anything; I just don’t happen to be a fan. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of anything I like blueberries in, except for muffins. I really don’t like blueberries by themselves either. But, wrap them up in a warm muffin and I’m in with both feet. They can’t be whole in said muffin, though. I don’t know why exactly; that’s just how it is. No one will change my opinion on this matter, and anyone who tries too hard to do so will become my enemy at some point in the conversation.
When it comes to the food we eat or the color of the car we drive or the style of shoes we wear, we all have very distinct ideas about what we like and don’t like. It’s called being human, and we have a right to feel however we feel about anything that has a personal effect on us.
Some people may question my aversion to how I will ingest blueberries. Some may question why you bought a yellow car instead of a blue one. I’m not quite sure why people do this. After all, how does the color of your car change any aspect of their lives? What possible concern is there to them if I eat blueberry muffins while driving my chartreuse car in a pair of lace-up Roman sandals?
None, zilch, zip, nada, zero. And yet, I promise you someone who witnessed this event would feel compelled to express their unwelcomed opinion of the situation–probably not to me personally, but certainly to any other set of ears that may be nearby. Some people simply cannot help themselves and must let the world know what they’re thinking.
Am I saying we should never consider other people’s opinions when we make certain choices? Absolutely not!!
If I were driving my chartreuse car, eating a blueberry muffin while wearing Roman lace-up sandals in a direction that led to a bridge that had been knocked out, I would most likely appreciate an opinion from someone who knew this and wanted to save my life. At that point they are not commenting on personal choices of car color, footwear or food choice. They are simply giving me information that I may not be aware of. What I do with it at that point is still my choice, however.
There have been times in the course of delivering a resume project that a client has expressed concern over something they didn’t feel quite right about with the finished product. There has never been a time that we weren’t willing to address that concern to the satisfaction of the client and make them as happy as we could.
The problem is when that concern over their project isn’t from them, but an opinion expressed by their third cousin on their mother’s side twice removed who married old what’s-his-name from Botswana and hasn’t an inkling of a clue as to what type of industry the client is in. But suddenly they are the go-to expert on everything career document related.
Professional resume writers do so much research and typically have such a vast degree of personal insight on the career fields they serve, it just boggles my mind when a client cites the opinions of those whose only purpose of espousing said opinion is in the off chance someone may actually take them seriously.
It is understandable that clients need and want feedback from those whose opinions they may value. I’m only suggesting those opinions be adhered to only to the degree to which the opinion giver is qualified to do so.
Image: blog.self-improvement-saga.com
Rob –
Love it! Were you listening in on my my 77- minute conversation with a client yesterday
undoing all the damage “well-intentioned” opinion holders had about his new resume?
This poor guy was so over-whelmed with conflicting, trite, meaningless and just plain wrong information, the angst was palpable. These “back-seat” writers (as one colleague coined) did more to undermine this person’s self-esteem and confidence than losing his job did.
I was finally able to convince him, pick one “expert” (me), do as they direct, and leave the rest of the well-intentioned feedback on the side of the road. Tweak the process with that one person, as required. Trying to incorporate 100 ideas from 30 of his “closest” friends turned out to be a recipe for disaster for him. And you know what, they weren’t around to pick up the pieces … I was.
The best advice my mother ever gave me was: “Just because you have an opinion does not mean the rest of the world is entitled to it.” Too bad more people don’t know or adhere to this.
You eat your blueberries anyway you want!!
Thank you Dawn. I wasn’t listening to your conversation with this client (as far as you know), but know that I feel your pain, sister.
It’s great to hear from you and I truly appreciate your input.
Cheers
Rob
Absolutely love this post, Rob! The analogies are spot on!
And Dawn, you always make me chuckle while getting your serious points! Thanks to both of you!
Hi Barb, thank you for the kind words. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and truly appreciate you taking the time to drop me a line.
Cheers
Rob
OK, you made me laugh.
I didn’t like olives, nor avocados, until my forties (There, you know I’ve at least hit that milestone!). One day, I decided to give it another go and I suddenly added two new favourites to the menu.
My point is that our tastes change, just as does our career goals, which you, as the experts, know all about.
Sometimes one has to be willing to put up with a bit of pain and/or uncomfortableness until one reaches that new-found acceptance. Maslow desribed it as the Four Stages of Competence: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_competence
Some of your clients will need some time to move through those stages until they are comfortable with this new “flavour” of resume. Perhaps checking in with their distant relatives is part of the process, through which you and Dawn, too, guide them, adding a little more “seasoning” to make this new “dish” palatable.
I’ll keep on the look-out for you in your chartreuse car! 🙂
Great points Marianna, thanks so much for the kind words and the additional words of wisdom.
I have to go now as it takes a while to lace up my Roman sandals.
Cheers
Rob
Hahahaha! Thanks for the laughter break!
Ha! Reminds me of how picky I am about how I will and won’t eat tomatoes (there are many intricacies…)
I like Dawn’s comment on picking one expert. Even if those giving opinions to the job seeker were qualified, there are bound to be different thoughts on how the final product should look. All of that just muddies the water during a time when it’s so hard to find clarity.
You’re so right, Melissa. Thank you for checking in and giving some additional insight on this important issue.
Cheers
Rob