By Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter
Seventeen years ago this week (Sept. 9, 1996), Louie, a beautiful red miniature pinscher puppy rode home on my lap. He was to become my first pet as an adult. Spirited and ornery, he also was faithful, tender and a loyal companion, through many life events, challenges and changes. Together, we celebrated Christmases, New Years and birthdays, and we also mourned losses such as the death of my grandma and my first marriage.
During the past seven years, he has been an integral part of Rob’s and my life, as we fell in love, learned to sail, married and relocated our lives to North Texas’ Lake Texoma. Throughout all, Louie was adaptable, energizing and a willing participant. Along the way, he got lost a few times-escaping through fences or otherwise wandering off–learned to swim and found solace in the calm of a summer day. Despite his aging body, blindness and partial deafness that had been more visibly evident the past year, Louie always enjoyed his treats, lying in the sun and a warm, soft blanket. Always, for me, he was a source of joy, sweetness, comfort and companionship. He was an enduring friend who never judged and always loved.
Immediately following his death yesterday, I felt a sense of deep loss, affection, sadness and remorse for how I could have comforted him more at the end, love, heartbreak and a deep well of other emotions and memories that I’m still working through. My husband, Rob, has been great – comforting and supportive, talking through feelings, and even brought home a spray of lilies to further celebrate Louie’s life. He also misses the little fellow. We buried Louie properly, and said a few words. I know that Louie is at peace.
Following are a few memories of Louie from his most recent few years, illustrating his robust and wonderful 17-year life here on planet earth:
Adios, my sweet Louie. Thank you for your inextinguishable love, the light in your eyes and the lively spirit that I will never forget. I will miss you forever.
Ohhhh. I am so sorry for your loss! I know how much he meant to you. 🙁
I’m so glad you had 17 years with him, though. That’s pretty old in dog years. 🙂
Thinking of you, friend!
Erin
Thanks Erin!
You’re right – we were pretty lucky to have our little ole’ man in our lives so long! Many great memories : )
We appreciate your kind thoughts!
Jacqui and Rob
Dear Jacqui,
I am so sorry to hear of sweet Louie’s passing. Please know that my thoughts and heart are with you as I send you and Rob warm wishes for peace and comfort.
I hope the love and joy you shared with this sweet angel bring you healing during this difficult time.
Thinking of you-
Shahrzad
Shahrzad,
Your warm, peaceful and comforting wishes are received. It is amazing what sharing in the ’emotion’ with friends like you can do for the healing process.
Thank you so much.
Warmly,
Jacqui and Rob
What a beautiful tribute to Louie, Jacqui. Huge hugs and deepest sympathies to you and Rob. He knew love every second of his 17 years, and that’s a wonderful thing!
Hi Dawn,
Huge hugs back to you; I know you know how ‘it’ feels. And we know you and Gary love Louie, too! [See how I kept it in the present tense to honor his everlasting spirit?]
Thank you for your compassion.
Jacqui and Rob
Such a beautiful tribute to a very special family member! Sending prayers of peace and comfort! Worst day in the history of ever is losing a loved one, whether they walk on two legs or four!
Hi Maggie,
What a neat message – ‘worst day in the history of ever’; that truly is how I / we felt. Today felt even worse than yesterday; perhaps because the initial shock had worn off and reality set in.
Thank you for your kindheartedness!
Jacqui
Tears in my eyes, my friend. Usually people say I know how you feel and maybe they do or don’t. Losing Teddy made me aware of how it feels to lose your best friend. My sympathy to you and Rob. What a wonderful tribute to Louie!
{{{Hugs}}} Julie. I know you have been through this with your beloved Teddy. Thank you for sharing in the emotion with us during this difficult time. It also has been quite therapeutic to celebrate Louie’s life – and the love that he offered us for 17 years!
Jacqui
Jacqui – What a lovely and touching tribute to sweet Louie. You were lucky to have each other. So sorry for your loss and sending you hugs and comfort at this tough time.
Jacqui,
You and I have never met, but I am a dig lover as well. As I read your tribute to Louie, I had tears in my eyes. I recently lost a mutt by the name of Lilly. She was such an important part of my life so I can relate to how important Louie was to you. Please know that I am thinking of you and your family in your time of loss. Speaking from experience, what you are going through does get easier. It may not seem like it now but it will.
Take care!
Jeff
Hello Jeff,
How kind of you to offer your condolences and special thoughts on my tribute to Louie. I’m so sorry about Lilly’s passing, and I am touched that my words could further relate to your experience and feelings.
It is quite helpful to hear that over time things get easier; I know that for awhile we will instinctually expect to see Louie as we move through our day-to-day activities. This morning’s coffee time just wasn’t the same without him. He is missed.
Thank you!
Jacqui and Rob
Miriam,
Thank you so much for your kind words and hugs. I know you understand the feelings of loss when a pet passes, and that makes your message even more meaningful.
And yes, Louie and I were very lucky for the time we shared together.
Jacqui and Rob
Jacqui — Louie was more than a special friend, I know. He saw you through many life changes. While words can fail us at times like these, you aptly captured the feelings of all of us who’ve lost our office companions, our forever faithful furry friends. My heart hurts for you and Rob.
Meg,
I know you know the relationship I shared with Louie (and you even met Louie, as I recall!). I also know you have had to endure similar losses.
I appreciate your soothing, affirming remarks and for taking the time to comment here.
Warmly,
Jacqui and Rob
{Jacqui and Rob},
If only they could “Stay!”
When a pet goes, so too, does a special type of relationship. Those big brown Louie eyes that reflect the love, safety and joy you have been privileged to share with one another.
Louie will always occupy real estate on your heart.
I love the picture entitled “Summertime Repose” – waiting and watching for mom and dad. I’m sure he’s still doing that.
Warmly,
Marianna
Marianna,
You are always so inventive: “If only they could ‘Stay!'” <- That is precisely how I feel!
And you know of the 'love, safety and joy' reflected in a dog's eyes. So eloquently and sensitively worded.
Finally, I know you have been the committed mother to 3 furry family members over the years. Holly, Murphy and Harley – all very lucky to have a place in your heart.
I'm touched that you are fond of the "Summertime Repose" photo – particularly since it is so recent, only taken a couple of months ago. I so enjoyed watching Louie 'soak up the sun.'
Many thanks for your word warmth, as per your norm,
Jacqui
Jacqui, your tribute brought tears to my eyes. I can only imagine how difficult it has been to say good-bye to Louie. I hope the thoughts and prayers from friends and family is offering you some comfort. You have reminded me to be grateful and give my 13 year old ‘Scotia’ (border collie/golden retriever) some extra scratches tonight… Hugs to you and Rob.
Maureen,
It has been strangely quiet here in my office this week — though Louie had become more subdued in the past year, he was always ‘at my feet’ it seemed, resting snugly. And he was my excuse to step outside for fresh air when he needed tending. I also just miss his little warm body and sweet breaths of life. Goodness. It will take awhile to complete the goodbye process.
I am so grateful for the thoughts and prayers from family and friends – and now your warmth has further embraced me. I know that grateful feeling you speak of, as each year that Louie lived, I knew was precious (and I’ve witnessed many other friends/family members lose their precious fur members).
Thank you, Maureen, for taking time to share,
Jacqui
Oh Jacqui! I just read this and have tears in my eyes. What a beautiful boy he was. He was there for you through so much of your life. Loving. Supporting. Just being your friend. I lost a beloved kitty about 7 years ago, and although I have a sweet replacement, I still remember his loving and trusting eyes those last days. And I shared many of your thoughts and feelings. Say hello to Harry for me, Louie. 🙂 Big hugs to both of you.
Ronnie Ann,
What you referenced about your beloved kitty’s ‘loving and trusting eyes’ resonated so strongly. That was how it was for Louie for so many, MANY years. He had soulfulness and trusting in those eyes – and I valued it every day.
I envision Harry and Louie playing in the green green grass of their forever healthy lives now!
Thank you for your hugs. They feel nice.
~Jacqui
Hello Jacqui,
I don’t know if “A Dog’s Purpose According to a 6 Year Old” is one of those urban myths, but this story helped me through my loss and I wanted to share it with you in case you hadn’t seen it…
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”
The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
Much love to you and Rob,
Jackie Yun