Email communication is an art + a science that if done well results in straightforward, yet diplomatic messages. Email’s value, despite the abundance of micro-messaging, micro-blogging, instant gratification and often crowd-sourcing-focused platforms still reigns, in my book.
Well-written emails swapped between two individuals are colorfully intimate and insightful compared to streams of group and social networking forms seeking provocation, applause, ‘likes,’ or group think.
That said, I’m a huge advocate of social networking – it has been an instrumental tool for taking my business to a new level! And I’m just as ‘guilty’ as everyone else as seeking out social forums (I’m posting this, for example!). I use it heavily for business, often blending business and personal. I strongly advise careerists to jump into social media, too.
It’s a difficult dichotomy. When I’m in the throes of writing or reading a meaty email, however, I feel a gentle nudge reminder of the pertinence of more affectionate, real conversations, and how I miss them.
© Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter
Excellent post, Jacqui! As well, I really love that you reference affectionate and real conversations in the title!
As I see it, most often it’s communication across a broad mix of platforms that contributes to building genuine and lasting relationships over time. So, social media has a place right along side of those well-written and colorful e-mails.
Still, growing those relationships typically needs some level of shared intimacy to take off. This isn’t necessarily intimacy with a capital “I,” but more often the interaction related to shared interests and experiences.
It also takes a more disciplined use of social media. It can start with “small talk” and even “likes,” but needs to grow into curiosity about and a genuine interest in other people. Making real friends in a digital world is possible and rewarding. Yet, the wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson holds true here as well: “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
Thank you for your enthusiastic comment, Walter! … and for commenting on my reference to ‘affectionate/real conversations.’ I was questioning the use of the word, ‘affectionate,’ and then your comment slid in, supporting it. That meant a lot.
You make good points about communicating across a broad mix of platforms – while that can appear overwhelming and time-consuming (at times), if done in chunks and organically (and with genuine intention and with a disciplined approach, as you aptly mentioned), it really DOES work. I like how you said, “social media has a place right along side of … emails.” Yes!
The level of ‘shared intimacy’ you pointed out and defined is a helpful extension of the conversation here.
Finally, I love how you described how to build momentum and deepen interactions through curiosity and genuine interest. Appreciate your Ralph Waldo Emerson closing, too!
Merci, Walter, for deepening the engagement on this important topic!
Jacqui
Agreed fully on this Jacqui! Nothing like email to build a personal bond and to make a serious impact on your target audience, 1 person at a time. My strongest friendships grew through email because the intimacy and connectedness of the platform can’t be underestimated. I pop in a few times monthly to touch base with my friends through email. Even though I use social I am pulling back from the platform because pay to play, and dying organic reach, is taking over FB and G Plus hasn’t moved for me.
I LOVE twitter though 😉 Totally different animal, fast moving, and if you engage regularly you can see great returns on the network.
Thanks!
Ryan
Hello Ryan!
It is such a pleasure to hear from you again!
Thank you for your reinforcing remarks regarding your friendship-building through 1-person-at-a-time email conversations. What an illustrative description of how you stay connected this way!
I agree with you that FB organic reach is dying; as such, I’ve found my ‘personal’ FB page my go-to platform to blend personal + biz and have, interestingly enough, drawn business that way while keeping connected to family/friends.
You are SO right about Twitter and that it is a ‘different animal, fast moving,’ etc., and that you can see great returns on the network (IF you engage regularly).
Again, thank you for taking a few moments to visit me and my audience here from your intriguing, island-hopping, “Blogging in Paradise” life!
Jacqui
When we’re not going for likes but going for connection, everything changes. I’m with you, Jacqui!
Best,
Alli
Thanks so much, Alli!
I appreciate your affirming remark and agree that when we go for connection, ‘everything changes.’ Wonderfully said!
Jacqui
Dear Jacqui,
Yes to “more affectionate, real conversations”! And yes, the modern email can be our delivery vehicle. Look what happens when we substitute “emails” for “letters” in the quotes below.
** To send a letter [an email] is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart ~ Phyllis Theroux
** More than kisses, letters [emails] mingle souls; for, thus friends absent speak ~ John Donne
From my heart and mind to yours,
Jackie Yun
Dear Jackie,
I loved your mini-letter in my blog comments!
Your words – and specifically tailored quotes – are fragrant and edifying. I would say that I favor one quote over the other, but that would be untrue. Each quote has a its own special appeal and sweet connecting energy that feels both soulful and intimate.
You aptly linked how letters and emails share common characteristics, if written from the heart.
I am printing off Phyllis Theroux’s and John Donne’s aromatic quotes so that I can enjoy their fragrance from the walls of my office, daily.
Thank you so much for sharing your gift of heart and mind, Jackie. I treasure it so.
Jacqui
Hi Jacqui,
It is a difficult dichotomy. We get habituated to the short, sweet tweet – the rapid fluttering in and out of each other’s lives that unless we take time to alight upon the flower of friendships we risk the loss of the sweet nectar that comes from building a relationship.
Too much time on line and I begin to miss the radiance of a smile, the security of a hug, the untethered freedom that comes from being with someone in person.
Having said that, Social Media has broadened my world – opportunities, aquaintances, the odd prize and friendships like our dear #SummitFriends.
Further to Walter’s comment about friendships often begin with small talk – I think back to our Twitter days of “clinking coffee cups over the fence.” 😉
Here’s to the changing seasons of pertinent conversations!
*Clink!*
Warmly,
Marianna
First of all, Marianna, I admire your weaving the word, ‘habituated’ into your remark. It is more than apt in this context! I even looked it up to remind myself of the nuances of that special word. Bravo.
Moreover, your extended nature metaphor describing what our habituating behavior looks like if let run rampant is illustrative!
“Sweet nectar that comes from building a relationship” (reminds me I miss intimate ‘live’ conversations with you and our #SummitFriends – I know we all are busy. In the meantime, swapping emails, blogging and sharing comments creates a form of shared written intimacy, deepening relationships).
*Coffee Cup Clink* to you, Walter and others in this thread who have graciously joined the conversation!
Jacqui
Thanks for your mention, Maryanna!! Nice comment! Yes, clinking coffee cups over the fence! Loved what twitter taught us in the very beginning … fortunately, we can still keep those practices alive!
Walter – I so enjoy how blogging and commenting on one another’s posts deepens conversations and idea-sharing. As well, I am enriched when I see two of my favorite social media friends connecting on my page (you and Marianna). Perhaps you already had connected, but to see the blooms nurtured here is enriching.
Moreover, your and M’s discussion about ‘clinking coffee cups’ and what twitter taught us in the very beginning further nurtures my desire to keep cultivating twitter conversations.
*Clink* to you on this warm Wednesday (warm and sunny in Texas, at least 🙂
Jacqui
Love the exchange of perspectives here, Jacqui! Thank you for creating and supporting this conversation!! *Clink* to you and Marianna!!
A conversation needs to start somewhere – a cup of coffee or tea is a fine place to begin building a dialogue.
By the way, Jacqui, Walter and I have exchanged a few tweets – thanks to your introduction. 🙂
Ah yes!! It’s been great interacting with you, Marianna!!
WONDERFUL to hear, Marianna and Walter!!
Great post Jacqui! I am guilty of using social media to stay in touch with friends and family yet I do agree that it cannot replace an “Affectionate, Real Conversation” through an email exchange between individuals. I’m new to your blog by the way. Found some good posts.
Thanks!